Soap and Water
by words-are-lies
Summary: Silly Whouffle one-shot. Clara doesn't like finding random things in her flat. Including soap. It can be a huge hassle to some people and even cause some unintended problems. Rated T just to be safe.


_Soap and Water_

**(A/N: I'm fairly certain that the only reason I wrote this was because I was looking at what dishwasher soap brand was the best and because I rewatched the little Pond Omnibus that was in the series 7 disc (I think) and I absolutely loved it. So here it is, a blend of madness, confusion, flirting, and flustered timelords.)**

* * *

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN ANYTHING FROM DOCTOR WHO**

* * *

"Doctor, what the hell is that thing?" Clara shrieked as she ran into the TARDIS in a towel with what seemed to be like a person with a squid on his head carrying a bar of soap trailing her a few steps behind.

"Draft!" The Doctor reminded her from the swing he was situated on under the TARDIS console.

Clara angrily snapped her fingers, not wanting the creature to catch up with her. She stomped down the staircase, locked her eyes on the Doctor, snapped the round goggles off his head, and said, "Why the hell was there a man-squid creature in my bathroom holding a bar of soap saying that I will be cleansed?"

The Doctor swung around to face his furious companion and fixed his hair, frowning at the kind of damage Clara could do when she was cross.

"Cleansed?" he repeated.

"Thoroughly with soap and water!" Clara boomed, face turning even redder than before with anger and confusion.

The Doctor lifted himself from the swing and took a step towards Clara. Still seething, she held her breath and waited to see what he would do. That probably wasn't the best idea, as it turned her face even redder with the absence of oxygen. His face contorted into a state of confusion as he sifted his fingers through her hair, wondering why it wasn't dry as per usual when she went on adventures with him. He removed his hand from her hair and poked her towel then said, "Why are you wearing a towel?" He paused, head thinking of infinite reasons why she would be wearing a towel, then lowered his voice, fear slowly creeping through, "Is this a new fashion trend?"

"No!" Clara stomped frustratingly, wanting to throw something at someone- preferably the Doctor- and upon discovering that she wasn't holding anything, she grabbed a fistful of air and flung it at him; earning her a little bit of her pride back when he winced at the offensive action.

Still wanting to throw something at him, she looked down at her towel that was strangely inviting in the sense of sweeping it off and catapulting it at his face. Trying to refrain herself, she looked away from it and said slowly with deep breaths that did little to calm her down, "I was showering. I heard my door break open. I grabbed my towel. Then I saw that creature of death holding soap. It tried to give me the soap and leave. I kicked it in the jewels and ran. It tried to follow me. I was sure I was going to die. Then I remembered that you were outside. I ran into the Snogbox. You happened to be present. You asked me why I was wearing a towel."

"Well now you know why!" She cried, straightening her towel and flicking his bowtie for good measure.

The Doctor scoffed, fixed his bowtie back into a presentable position and squinted, "I might've left the TARDIS doors open."

"You what?" Clara said in a dangerously low voice. She looked away disbelievingly and upon realizing something, she pointed an accusing finger at him. "I remember exactly what you told me last time when Ileft the door open," she started, with the Doctor reluctantly joining in as they said together, "If you leave the doors open next time, there might be a group of killer space clowns waiting to eat you, along with a way into the coolest ship in the universe."

"Yes," Clara breathed out in delight, eyes lidded, and finally cooling down now that she was back in control.

The Doctor sighed and fixed his bowtie, trying to regain as much of his self-confidence back as he could.

"I might've traveled to the Ood Sphere and stole an Ood." He started, waiting for her to signal him to move on, "And that stolen Ood might've walked out of the TARDIS through the open doors when I landed here. And that Ood might've been what scared you and caused you to come running to me in a towel," The Doctor confessed, then added, "Which I have to admit that you don't look half as bad in."

"So the thing's an Ood. I don't care how you got the Ood. The only thing I care about is you getting that thing out of my flat." Clara said. Then, not forgetting his careless comment, she suggested with a raised eyebrow, "You seem to say that every time I wear something that covers me less. At this rate I'll have to take this towel off."

"Why would you do that?" The Doctor began, then suddenly realizing what she meant, his entire face blushed a bright red crimson as he tried not to imagine her without clothing.

Clara smirked and asked innocently with a playful air, "You're not actually trying to mentally undress me, are you?"

He shot back up straight and fiercely flouted his arms while he repeated, "No, no, no. I would never do such a thing. Never!" However, he was stopped when Clara put both of her hands on his shoulders, quickening his rhythmic breathing and forcing him to stand tense. She pushed down on his shoulders and brought herself up to the side of his head and huskily whispered into his ear, "Of course, Doctor."

The Doctor shot himself backward and landed against the staircase. He breathed heavily and looked at Clara in disbelief when she said with a wave of her hand, "Oh, I haven't even got started yet." She paused, trying to recollect her thoughts while glancing around, and exclaimed, "Ah, yes! I'm still wearing a towel. That means that there's still an Ood in my flat that I need to get rid of."

Clara crossed the room to poke him in the chest and say, "And you're going to help me."

* * *

**(A/N: To those who were wondering, I didn't mean 'get rid of the Ood' as in killing it. I just meant getting it back to the Ood Sphere. Also, I might write a sequel if this does well, as I really actually did enjoy writing this. Anyway, thanks for reading and please review!)**


End file.
